Just Say It
by Jane L. Black
Summary: Josephine kept commanding him to speak and it was getting on his nerves, not letting him think clearly. (Season 6 spoilers!)


**Disclaimer: I don't own The 100, but Bellarke owns my heart. _Season 6 spoilers!_**

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**Just Say It**

"For God's sake, just say what you want to say."

He hesitates, his heart beating wildly in his chest. There is so much he wants to tell Clarke. How do you put a lifetime of feelings into words? How do you tell her you're sorry in a thousand different languages? How do you ask for a second chance? How do you tell her you would do anything to go back to easier days when their biggest problem was them trying to kill each other?

"I won't let you die." He finally says, hoping that she can also see the pain and promise in his eyes.

Josephine scoffs at him. "You're pathetic." Her fingers taps against her wrist again. Shut up. She rolls her eyes. "Both of you."

"Just hang in there, Clarke." He asks, smiling at her hands, waiting - _hoping_ \- for another signal.

"Don't you mean _Princess_?" Josephine practically spits the nickname and his eyes snap to her face. It hurts. It hurts to look at that familiar face and see nothing but hate and disdain. Even when they were on opposite sides, Clarke never looked at him like that. Not even when he decided to put the flame in Madi. No matter what they did to each other, they could not bring themselves to hate one another. "That's you used to call her, isn't it?"

"How do you know that?" Josephine snickered.

"I took a trip down the memory lane." She explained, twisting a strand of her hair. "Personally, I love the head and the heart story." Josephine smirked and took a step in his direction. "You were going to kiss her, weren't you?" Bellamy stared at her. "I mean, it was the perfect moment. You were together, we were going to be safe in space, she was telling you were her heart... Like a fairytale. Am I right?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." He said, trying to ignore how her words were affecting him. Hearing those things coming out of Clarke's mouth were making him go mad. No, he wouldn't tell her anything. What he felt in those moments, what it really meant for him, it was for Clarke. Not for this crazy sociopath.

"It's so ridiculous. I'm almost tempted to let her take control so you can tell her how you really feel." Josephine said, throwing her hands up in frustration. "You were willing to trade almost 300 lives for hers."

"I would do that for anyone I care about."

Josephine laughed. "Really? You would that for John? Emori?" _No. No._ "Echo?"

"Yes."

"_Liar._ You just abandoned her to my father's rage to save Clarke." Bellamy advert his eyes. "That's what I thought. I mean, you forgive Clarke for every stupid tiny mistake and every big murderous decision and you can't forgive you sister, the one you raised." Bellamy stared at his hands, embarrassed by the truths she was throwing at at his face. "You can live without anyone, except Clarke. You would gladly murder them all just to keep her safe. You poisoned your own sister just to help her."

"I-"

"I saw you inside her mind, in her memories. It's hard not to when they are the loudest of them all. Even more so than Lexa and Finn." Bellamy's head snapped up, looking shocked at her. Josephine smirked. "Oh, that got your attention. Lexa and Finn were Clarke's lovers. They meant a lot to her. But somehow, you mean more. How does that make you feel?"

He hesitated for a second. Finn and Lexa had always been sore subjects between him and Clarke. She had broken his heart twice and it had taken him a lot to piece it back together. Knowing that he meant more to her than them made his heart flutter again. Like it did that night on Earth when, for one second, they had considered running away together.

Noticing Josephine was still waiting for his answer with a smug smile on her face Bellamy cleared his throat. "Clarke is my best friend. We've been through a lot."

"That's your lame excuse?" Josephine asked, losing her calm attitude. "Well, never took you for a coward, Blake. Both of you. Two big idiot cowards."

_Bitch._ Clarke tapped on her wrist. "That was rude." Josephine said. She turned back to Bellamy. "I know you believe you'll save her, but what if you can't? This might be your last chance. She's hearing you and you might not have the opportunity again. So say it." He shook his head.

"I'll save her."

"What if you can't?" What if she was right? What if this was his last chance? What if Clarke died? Or what if he died trying to bring her back? He hesitated once and had to live with the pain of nor being brave enough to tell her the truth. What if he had to go through that again?

Josephine kept commanding him to speak and it was getting on his nerves, not letting him think clearly, not letting him consider his options. He could feel the anger rising on his chest, the years of frustration, pain and aching begging to be let out.

"Say it."

"**I LOVE YOU**!" He shouted, surprising Josephine, who took a step back. "I love you. I've always loved you." He ran a hand through his hair and tried to pace, but the chains around his hands pushed him back. "I'm sorry I didn't told you sooner. I always think I have time and then things happen. And you..." He chuckled. "You're like a problem magnet. Always in trouble and it drives me mad, but I can't stop loving you."

Josephine's finger started to tap like mad, but he refused to acknowledge it.

"No. I don't want to know it. No like that." He took a step forward and grabbed her face between his hands. Bellamy stared into the blue eyes that drove him insane and could swear he saw a spark in them. "Whatever you have to tell me, you're going to tell me in person. I'm getting you out of there. I mean it: **I won't let you die**. I've got too much to tell you and we've got too much to live."

Josephine stared at him for a while in shock at his outburst. She had seen him in pain from Clarke's death, but this was different. This was despair and, without Clarke, Bellamy was a man without anything to lose.

Hearing footsteps, Josephine pushed him away from her.

The Children of Gabriel got in the cave and Bellamy watched in panic as they hit Clarke and the black blood started pouring out of her wound. Then, they realized who she really was and all hell broke loose.

They moved to execute her, despite his pleas to hear him out. He felt his heart jump in his chest as they tried to hold Josephine down and pulled on the chains with no avail.

This was it. The end of the line. She was going to die. She would be really gone. He was going through the pain of losing her again.

Suddenly, faster than he could process, Josephine started to fight her way out. One by one the Children of Gabriel fell to the floor.

_No no no._ She was going to run back to the Sanctum and he couldn't save Clarke.

That's when the last body hit the floor and she turned to him.

"Clarke." He breathed out. She gave him a small smile and grabbed the keys from one of the fallen men.

Clarke ran to him and started to unlock the chains when they heard footsteps coming into the cave. "You have to go. You have to find Gabriel."

"I'm not leaving you!" She screamed, fumbling with the keys.

Bellamy grabbed her hands and made her look at him. "I'll find you." He promised.

They stared into each other's eyes for a silent moment. They had always been so much better with looks than with words. It was the best thing about them. They could understand each other with just a small glance. And they usually used words to fight and scream at each. The eyes were better. They never lied.

Clarke eventually nodded and slipped the key into his hands. She got up and ran to the opposite hall from where the steps were coming from.

Suddenly, she came to a stop and turned back to Bellamy, who was watching her. She thought for a second about what to say. "Don't die." and left.

_Coward_. Josephine mocked in her head. Clarke ignored her.

Bellamy had just been forced to reveal his feelings due to Josephine's pressure. She had already taken that moment from them, she would not take another one from them. Clarke would tell him about her feelings, she would kiss him and they would save their people. But first, she had to take her body back.

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"Bellamy, she's gone." Octavia mumbled, trying to control the emotion in her voice. She touched her brother's shoulder lightly. He turned, a pained look on his face.

"No, she's not!" He screamed at her before turning to her friend. "Wake up, Clarke! Come on!" He begged, pressing her chest and blowing some air into her lungs. "I'm not letting you go. You're a fighter! Now get up and fight! Get up and fight!" He screamed in despair, punching her chest.

A small beep from the machine caught their attention. Gabriel and Octavia stared at the beeping line completely dumbfounded, while Bellamy looked back at the woman on the table.

She groaned and her eyes fluttered open. Bellamy gently cradled her neck and helped her up. "Clarke?" He asked, uncertain. She stared into his eyes and threw her arms around him, pulling him close. "The head and the heart." She whispered.

He let out a shaky laugh, hiding his face in her short hair and letting the tears fall down his cheeks. He could feel Clarke breathing in his scent and made himself a promise of never letting her out of his sight again. After what felt like hours, he pulled back and took her face in his hands.

"Clarke, about what I said in the cave..." She smiled at him and placed her hands over his.

Clarke let out a shaky laugh. "You know what I thought when she was torturing you?" He shook his head. "That we should've ran away when we had the chance."

He smiled. "Do you think we would still be on Earth?"

"Maybe. I don't think the world would've ended without us meddling." he let our a shaky laugh. "Even if it did, it would be okay. We would be together."

"I meant every word I said, Princess." The use of the old nickname made her heart warm. He hadn't called her that in a while and she hadn't known how much she missed it, until now.

"You're my person, Bellamy. Always have been." She confessed. Unable to take it any longer, he crashed his lips on hers.

It was not how a first kiss should be. There were definitely fire works, but it was not kind or sweet. There was despair, longing. There were decades of repressed desire and longing. It was mess. Teeth, tongues and lips fought for dominance. Clarke refused to let him take charge of it, but so did he. It was so them. He wanted to growl, moan, push her closer, take off her clothes and taste her.

"Now, there's something I never thought I would see." Octavia declared behind him.

That took him back to more than one century ago, when Clarke ran into his arms as he crossed the gates of Arkadia. She must have thought about it too, because she laughed against his lips and pulled back. They stared at each other's eyes for a moment, before Clarke looked behind him and smiled.

"Good to see you too, Octavia."

"Glad to have you back, Clarke."

Clarke looked over to Gabriel. "Thank you." He nodded and left the tent. No one followed, trying to give him some privacy. Josephine might have been crazy, but they had been in love for almost three centuries.

"So, what do we do now?" Octavia asked them.

"We get our people back." Bellamy told her, holding Clarke's hand. She smiled at him and he craved to feel her lips again. Echo's face flashed across his mind for a second and sighed, getting up. "You should get some rest. We'll worry about it tomorrow." She looked at him, confused. He gave her a small smile and, after a minute, she nodded in understanding.

Today, Clarke was safe with him. Today, he was a step closer to forgiving his sister. Today, Gabriel was mourning his lost love.

Tomorrow he would deal with his relationship with Echo. Tomorrow they would find a way to save their people. Tomorrow they would do better.

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**Hi my dear Bellarkers,**

**Here my sweet and small one-shot. It's my take on what should've happened during episode 9 (**_What You Take With You_**) and 10 (**_Matryoshka_**) of season six.**

**Thank you so much to my awesome beta **_StrangeJenny_**, who agreed to read this even though she has yet to watch season 6.**

**Hope you like it and don't forget to read my two other Bellarke fanfictions: **_Don't survive, live_** \- which is already finished - and **_A Deliquent's Tale_** \- which I'm working on. **

**Seen you soon.**

**Love, **

_Jane_


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